Today brings sad news as we just found out late yesterday that I am miscarrying. I was eleven weeks yesterday. I am sadden and bummed out-this was going to be our little brother :((We hoped) It's a new emotion for me. I have been blessed with four beautiful healthly children. Now to experience a loss. My mind has played those silly little tricks on me. Maybe I should not have lived for a month in the trialer while this new baby was so carefully developing, maybe I should not have moved the furniture to where I had, if I had... on and on. Yet if I am to believe that this is God'd will, which I do, then it is for no reason that I have done or should of done or could have done but God's plan for me. I am to experierence loss, go through this trial he has placed before me.
I have also felt a little relief. This past year I wanted to be pregnant this summer. I also had no idea what this summer had in store for our family. I had no idea that we would be loading up the house leaving my favorite couch behind, along with other items avaible this week on craigslist, to come find a new home, new job, new beginning here in California. I have felt guilt regarding this feeling of relief and with my sweet, kind, patient, hot, loving husband I have found peace in embracing the relief. If this is God's will, which I completely know it is, then I have to also believe that he has allowed me to feel the relief and given me a blessing as he knows what I can handle better then me. I know that he knows my situation and my new next Spring far better than me and at this time I need to focus on my family that is here and their needs which can be so much out of me.
What joy this life can bring- what sorrow and pain it can bring. With the Lord at my side, I go today to have the doctor finish out this little heartache and experience these new feelings.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Our Loss
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17 comments:
Michelle, we are so sorry to hear about this. What a beautiful post and great perspective. I hope that you find more peace today as you go through this process.
Michelle,
I am sorry about your sad news. I will have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Hey, Michelle, ironically, I am miscarrying right now. 15 weeks. I didn't do anything to cause it, and I am certain you didn't either. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Especially since it's your first. I've been through this a few times before, but this is the first time I have opted out of the D&C and done it at home. I regret that now. Get the D&C. Feel free to email me if you want...
wishtrish@gmail.com
Love you!
Trish (Patterson) Kobialka
Michelle,
You already know that our thoughts and prayers are with you during this time of adversity. Thanks for sharing your innermost emotions in your blog.
You are a very special daughter.
Dad
I just wanted you to know I love you and miss you. we are praying for your family during this very difficult experience. I know our loving heavenly father will comfort you!!!! On another note, I am sooo glad to hear from you and excited to be able to communicate again.
Michelle, I'm so sorry. Big hugs for your whole family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Michelle,
This is Marenda. I found you on Laura's blog. I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I hope you are doing okay and that you make it through this difficult time. It sounds like you are handling everything really well. Hopefully "little brother" (or another sister) will make a healthy appearance when the time is right.
You have a beautiful family and it was fun to catch up and see what you are up to.
Hang in there!
Marenda
www.samarenda.blogspot.com
Michelle,
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I have been there myself a couple of times. It deffinatley helps to know that Heavenly Father loves us and has a plan for us, although we don't always see the bigger picture. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Michelle, so sorry to hear about this. I'm sad for you and that you have to go through it. Don't beat yourself up over the what if's. It's hard, but not worth it. Good luck next time and don't worry, you'll get your boy!
Michelley,
We were so sorry to hear you news! We are praying for you and hope everything is going ok in your recovery. I'm sorry you have to go though this right now, but like you said, it is definitly for a reason and for the best. I need your number so I can call you! Can you email it to me?
We love and miss you so much!!
Hi Michelle,
I just now read your post. It's been a few days since you got the sad news, how are you doing today?
I have also been through this a couple of times and what helped me the most was just to allow myself to be sad and to go through the emotions and to give myself time to be sad. After a few days, I was fine and happy and healthy and knew that all would be well.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss, it just breaks my heart and I wish I lived closer so I could help you out in some way.
Your post was lovely and I know Heavenly Father loves you and is proud of how you have gone through this trial.
We love you guys.... give your body the time it needs to heal. That way you will be ready to get preggo again when the time is right!
~Deb
Oh, my dear Michelle, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know all too well the heartache that comes will a miscarriage and I am so sorry that you and your family have to feel that right now. I too know how hard it can be on the other children; mine always have the hardest time. My heart breaks for them. I hope you all find peace in the Lord and growth in ways you didn't know possible. We love you all!
Michelle, I know I've already emailed you regarding this matter, but I want you to know how sorry I am for the loss you guys have suffered. As I sit here with my big 29 week belly, I can still remember my very first pregnancy that I miscarried back 11 years ago like it happened yesterday. As you so eloquently wrote in your blog, our Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and sometimes we have to remind ourselves that He's the only one who sees the BIG picture. It's not always easy to accept, but things always happen for a reason. My thoughts and prayers have been with you. We love and miss you guys so much! -Angela
You are in my thought in this tough time. Sorry for your loss.
Michelle,
We are so sorry!! I had a 15-week misscarriage between Lilly and Creyton. The loss is very real, especially for you as a mother. We felt so comforted to know that we will be able to raise that child in our next life. It was good to hear from you. Send me an email. lyndseypjones@hotmail.com
Lyndsey Jones
Sorry to hear about your loss. I hope a new little one makes it to your family soon.
Michelle, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I don't think anything takes away that pain but there are so many things that can soften it. Right before we lost our first one at 19 weeks Elder Holland had been at stake conference and talked about "Night" the book from a holocast survivor and how we all have times in our lives when we wake in the middle of the night wondering if the dawn will ever come. After ours I had the exact experience and it felt like dawn would never come but it does. I promise.
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